- The autoeponymous band whose name I shall not speak
- The BP on North Avenue and Spring for assuming in 2007 that I was drunk and refusing to sell me beer on the way to work after having written great code all night. for the record, i was not drunk, though i was tweaked out of my gourd, and gesticulating wildly.
- Apple for the Disneyfication of computing
- Citizens Bank for pestering me regarding a Miata i'd obliterated
- GA400 for being a time vampire
- "Chancellor of the Sexchequer" Doug Gillett of Birmingham, AL for his unceasing and ill-informed braying regarding despised University of Georgia football
- Springer and Elsevier for their expensive garbage
- whatever fucking asshole spent $2k registering nickblack.dev knowing full well he/she/it can suck my menorah
- PriceWaterhouseCoopers for being the worst employment experience i've ever had, including the time i jerked a dude off for a ride in Louisiana, don't ask. while we're at it, fuck Louisiana.
- Junkman's Daughter for seizing my admittedly très shitty Alan Turing fake id in 1999