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SCOTUS headcanon: Difference between revisions

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"Let's get this absolutely straight, you trust-funded ballless witless Godless gormless asslick <i>Protestant</i> piece of ritually unclean garbage." Her nails--still salon-fresh, she notes with pleasure--are red against his bluing neck. She hews a pattern from his fear. "The first time you slimily look over at me and invitingly smile, you'll boof your own dick in reverse as I rip it off through your aggrieved turdcutter. Then I'll fashion bespoke condoms from your dick, really good ones. I'll use my Cricut. I'm as good at Cricut as I am Law, and the only thing I do better than Law is whipping your ass. Little Cricut Cavanaugh Condoms in pink boxes. $14 a throw at Macy's. Plus a free bath bomb. Then I'll destroy those condoms in holy fire, Brett, because they're an affront to the Lord." She spins him, and spits in his face. "Just like you, Brett. Just like you." As she stomps his insole, dropping him to the floor, she bends down to whisper. "Then I'll publish a paper about it in a leading law journal. Unlike you, Brett. Unlike you." Not a single brown hair has been displaced, nor a drop of her Sazerac.
"Let's get this absolutely straight, you trust-funded ballless witless Godless gormless asslick <i>Protestant</i> piece of ritually unclean garbage." Her nails--still salon-fresh, she notes with pleasure--are red against his bluing neck. She hews a pattern from his fear. "The first time you slimily look over at me and invitingly smile, you'll boof your own dick in reverse as I rip it off through your aggrieved turdcutter. Then I'll fashion bespoke condoms from your dick, really good ones. I'll use my Cricut. I'm as good at Cricut as I am Law, and the only thing I do better than Law is whipping your ass. Little Cricut Cavanaugh Condoms in pink boxes. $14 a throw at Macy's. Plus a free bath bomb. Then I'll destroy those condoms in holy fire, Brett, because they're an affront to the Lord." She spins him, and spits in his face. "Just like you, Brett. Just like you." As she stomps his insole, dropping him to the floor, she bends down to whisper. "Then I'll publish a paper about it in a leading law journal. Unlike you, Brett. Unlike you." Not a single brown hair has been displaced, nor a drop of her Sazerac.


Writhing on the floor, whimpering, Brett Kavanaugh coughs out a plea, "but Barettnator i'm Catholic, just like you."
Writhing on the floor, whimpering, Brett Kavanaugh coughs out a plea, "but Barettnator i'm Catholic dawwwg."


"Not anymore you're not, Brett." She upends a 40oz of Olde English onto his anguished face. "I'd swear you'd just been baptized via immersion." She throws a judicial robe at him. "Clean yourself up."
"Not anymore you're not, Brett." She upends a 40oz of Olde English onto his anguished face. "I'd swear you'd just been baptized via immersion." She throws a judicial robe at him. "Clean yourself up."