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Today's Featured Article Due to circumstances beyond our control, there is no current feature article. So instead, we bring you The Top 10 Articles of 2009! Drama says some good things did come out of 2009. 1. Dragon Worrier 2. 2001: A Space Odyssey 3. The Bourne Pottery Class 4. British Moon-landing 5. UnScripts:An interview with an Egyptian taxi driver 6. HowTo:Get Over Jenny 7. Your estimate of how long to reheat the lasagne 8. Karl Lagerfeld (tied) 8. Röak Band - Teütonic Invasion (tied) 10. Al Gore • I ate your Haagen-Dazs • Microsoft Knowledge Base • UnScripts:Waiting For Godot 2: Waiting With A Vengeance (tied) Here are the honorable mentions. 14. Metal Gear Solid (tied) 14. Printer Ink (tied) 14. Samuel L. Vacuum (tied) Yesterday's Featured Article LONDON, England -- For thousands of years humans have used either hand held, slave operated, or electric powered fans to cool down. Yet has no one had the common sense to consider putting fans all over the globe to solve global warming? Has no one even thought to test wind farms to determine their obvious impact on the temperature? The answer is ‘no’ – they have. As expected wind farms comprising giant diesel powered fans can modify the local climate by cooling the atmosphere, according to a study that revealed a night time decrease in temperature of 17 degrees over a region of Texas where four large wind farms have been built. Featured today, a long long time ago Tom Paine, featured on 26 June 2011. See the featured version. Sparta, featured on 26 June 2010. See the featured version. Lady-Gardening, featured on 26 June 2009. See the featured version. Traditional Values, featured on 26 June 2008. See the featured version. Preflight procedures, featured on 26 June 2007. See the featured version. Did you know... ...that the Southern United States is well-known for its "southern hospitality"? (pictured) ...that “If you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can ever imagine?” ~ Obi-Wan Kenobi ...that Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls? Hilarious, isn't it? ...that Uncyclopedia contains factual information about every topic in the universe except Euroipods? ...that Pontius Pilot was the 20th hijacker in the September 11 attacks? ...that Pontius Pilot never actually flew a plane in his life? ...that in 1804, Lewis and Clark set forth across America only to discover... themselves? ... that Lord Byron was killed on May 25, 1840, in a pistol duel with Oscar Wilde at Wilde's East London apartment in what was promoted by Don King as the "Spat in the Flat"?

In the news 120px UnFox Reports: lunatic Islamic terrorist takes over Egypt (pictured) Plaintiff must prove she's "too sexy to work" Tragic misunderstanding leads to hotel shooting Cannibalism becoming increasingly popular Obama's autobiography exposed as "blatant lies" President invokes Executive cover-up to protect guilty negro from racism Michigan man accumulates 29 degrees, and still can't land a job Disneyland, still "The Happiest Place on Earth" Einstein's theory on marriage Saudi Crown Prince Nayef to be buried after all Paul McCartney turns 70 Diane Keaton: Hollywood is incestuous" Hollywood is shocked as Lindsay Lohan goes to bed Squid sexually assaults South Korean diner Flirting app shuts down teen service to protect adults from child predators On this day... June 26: St. Masturbus' day 4.5 million BC - Morgan Freeman created a planet full of dinausaur and asians from his diarrhea 1 million BC - Cthulhu invents Christmas, when bored. 1856 BC - Black people start writing. 1855 BC - Brown people begin developing a complex society. 1854 BC - Yellow people begin Astronomy. 1853 BC - White people start painting their arses blue. 1087 - St. Clittorus gets really pissed because she was promised to have this day named after herself but totally got screwed over. 1123 - Pope Callistus II declares the saintity of St. Dildo. 1284 - The Pied Piper lures 130 children of Hamelin away. Piping Hot Pies are soon outlawed. 1718 - The Tsar's son suspiciously turns up dead after he is sentenced to death. 1721 - Cthulhu invents Christmas II. 1927 - The Cyclone roller coaster opens on Coney Island 1928 - A cyclone comes to Coney Island and completely destroys it. 1963 - John F. Kennedy gives his famous "Ich bin ein Selbstgeschlechter" speech. 1981 - Tom Cruise brings to life a Giant Tampax, that, in an ironical twist of destiny, would kill him exactly 24 years later. 2005 - Tom Cruise is killed by a Giant Tampax in an ironical twist of fate. 2005 - Richard Whiteley dies after finally unscrambling the conundrum PIANOMENU 2012 - The 'this is today' gag is used for the first time in history.

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The Lego JFK Assassination Set was the top selling toy of 1963. Collectors have been known to pay up to twenty-seven dollars on eBay. Image Credit: Sliferjam Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

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